HAVING lived in Colorado for the majority of my life, I was taught at a young age that there is no such thing as a stranger. Although a big city, my mom has repeatedly told me stories that end in, “what a small world.” Something as simple as talking to the check-out lady at a grocery store could end in an outlandish connection she has with one of your good friends. And week after week, you see this same lady and your relationship blossoms. The way people interact in Colorado was one of the hardest things to leave behind, because the minute you say hello to a stranger in Los Angeles, they give you that look of confusion that has a way of saying “why are you talking to me?,” that makes me homesick for friendliness. Friends from Colorado recently came to visit me and one in particular noticed that I had fallen into some of the aloof habits that many Los Angelenos -- and other big-city dwellers -- have become known for. While downtown, I simply ignored a man’s plea for money, instead of explaining to him “I don’t have any right now.” Being that he stayed in Colorado for college, my friend was perturbed by the fact that four years ago, I would have once provided that man at least some words of justification. It had never occurred to me before that I had picked up on the cold patterns I hated so much when I first moved here. Looking back on it, I found that when I make my weekly visits to the neighborhood grocery store, I still have the same tendency to smile and ask how their day is going. But when a stranger talks to me, instead of getting a feeling of ease, I am more reserved, and well, creeped out. I don’t know whether to associate this with the fact that it is a bigger, stranger city than I am used to, or that I have lost that friendliness I was once homesick for.
When I spoke to a classmate about this occurance, she was more than interested to see why I was not only falling into these patterns I associate with LA, but also why I was so bothered by it. It takes a lot of self reflection to figure this out, and I think the fact that I have had quite a loss of "Jackie" time in the past year, I can't seem to figure out the answer to either of these questions. I hope with the school year winding down, I will be able to spend my last few weeks here open to the strangers around me as well as open to myself.
-- Jackie DiBiase
(Photo: Homeless man on street with cardboard sign by Joe Drivas)
growing up in so cal, then moving to no cal for college, i never remembered seeing homeless people until reagan cut federal funding for mental institutions and rehabilitation centers in the 1980s. now people see the homeless as a fact of life in large metro areas. something to be "dealt with." and not just in LA.
ReplyDeleteit isn't simply a question of friendliness or kindness, that isn't what people on the street need, nor do they need guilt-based handouts. what they need are people in better circumstances who can look beyond their own personal surface reactions and ask what they can do to change the situation.
or, like most americans, we can simply turn a cold cheek, either by ignoring the homeless or by becoming homesick for a world where we don't have to think about them.